The pumpkin man will steal your soul.
Meanwhile, some teenagers grab a six-pack and head to the graveyard for a little D&D (Drinking and Desecrating). Jack is unleashed and introduces the kids to his trademark scythe, while Vivian arrives just in time to... hide the bodies?
|She slips on the rug...||Falls into the toaster...|
|Gets electrocuted...||And turns into a skeleton.|
This is just the sort of thing that gives big walking scarecrows a bad name. Jack had nothing to do with that, but I guess when anyone dies in a horror movie named after you, it's automatically your fault.
Everything in Jack-O seems to happen out of sequence. The Pumpkin Man drifts around, leering from the shadows one minute, warping halfway across town the next, then returning to kill someone he missed. The sloppy editing actually makes everything seem surreal and dreamlike, as if you're stumbling around, stoned out of your mind, bearing witness to harmless fun and murderous rampage alike. But don't get me wrong, this isn't an art film — it's a slasher flick starring a scarecrow.
Eventually people wise up to Jack's murderous ways, but not before he kidnaps Sean, the only one who can kill him. This isn't very good news for rest of the Kellies — this kid's so weakly, he grunts when he gets up. (I'm in my twenties, and I feel old when I do that.)
During their final confrontation, Sean unleashes his secret weapon: He lays down. No, you don't understand. He doesn't trip. He doesn't fall. He just lays down.
Then Sean wiggles around and says, "Nooooo," as if Mom just announced it was Brussels sprouts for dinner again. When covered — nay, sprinkled with a light powder of dirt, he gives up and stop moving. Earning him the nickname Turtleboy for the rest of his natural life.
But how long will that be? Can the Pumpkin Man be stopped? Will Sean get in touch with his Inner Badass? Will Sean's mom ever get her eyes back in her head?
I can totally see myself busting this out every Halloween. It's the perfect party movie. And even though it's got gore and a little nudity (boobs), this is the kind of scary movie I'd probably let my (imaginary evil-super-genius) kids watch, along with Poltergeist and Army of Darkness. But not Evil Dead 1 or 2. I may make a questionable theoretical caregiver, but I'm not that theoretically uncargivingly questionable.
- J.R. "Thor" Antrim went as Dead Pirate Roberts. He looked kind of like Westley from The Princess Bride, only scruffier, less alive, and — dare I say? — more loveable.
No wonder these guys made a Halloween movie. <grin>
"Why do you think I'm here?"
Vivian gets the best line in the movie, but I still hate her face.
"This is what they used to do to witches they threw rocks at 'em tied 'em up and burned 'em!"
Nice kid. He throws like a girl.
|One day Grandpa started acting all weird and made everyone uncomfortable by putting on a black robe and staring at them. After that, Grandpa went away to the home.|
|The infamous Jack-O poem. Sing it if you know it!|
|"Please, noooo!" Kid's being buried alive and he sounds like the girl at Starbucks told him they were all out of low fat milk.|
|The funniest five seconds in the whole movie. And it'll take about five seconds to download. Still think you can't do video clips on a 56k?|
|After waking from a terrible nightmare, Sean sits up, stares off into space for a minute and — wait for it — blinks. As the film progressed, Sean seemed less like a child actor and more like a child held in the hypnotic thrall of a vampire.|